Merry Christmas Everyone

I'm sure we've all heard by now about the Rabbi Who [Nearly] Stole Christmas.

I understand the Rabbi's frustration. Christmas in this country definitely overshadows the other various holidays and celebrations this time of year. But to the good Rabbi and anyone else who may feel left out of the holiday festivities, there really is no need to deny yourself the fun of decorating a tree or watching your children open presents from Santa. Once you realize the true meaning of Christmas, you'll be the first one on your block to have their lights up.

You see, there's a little secret that we atheists have known for a long time now. A secret that Christians don't want leaking out and are trying desperately to suppress. But once you understand, you'll be able to celebrate Christmas guilt free with the rest of us drinking egg nog by an open fire.

Christmas is not a religious holiday.

Kids don't look forward to opening presents from Jesus on Christmas morning. Jesus didn't need any reindeer to fly to the heavens. And from the pictures I've seen, he certainly ain't no jolly old fat man in a red suit. Yep, everything great about Christmas has nothing to do with Christianity whatsoever.

We decorate trees because it is fun to do. We put up lights because it is fun to do. We give each other presents because it is fun to do. Christmas is merely an excuse to have a little fun and spread some good cheer. And it probably gives those with Seasonal Affective Disorder a reason not to kill themselves during the Winter.

So when someone asks an atheist or a Jew if they celebrate Christmas, the answer should be "Yeah, why not? Christmas is a fun secular holiday that everyone can enjoy. After all, who doesn't want to get presents from Santa?" And not only do you get to enjoy the Christmas festivities, but the more people who recognize Christmas for the secular holiday that it is, the sooner we will put to rest those Christian fantasies that anyone is actually celebrating the birth of their savior.

Granted, there are still some Christians out there who are hanging on to that last shred of hope that Christmas is the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Here's a little challenge. Take a walk around your neighborhood tonight and count the number of houses that have a lighted Santa or snowman or reindeer on the roof. Now, count the number of houses with a nativity scene. My guess is that Santa wins hands down. You see, that's what happens when you try to impose your religious holidays onto the public sphere, they get watered down and eventually lose any religious meaning they may have once had. Santa's your daddy now bee-yatches.

You want your religious holiday back? How about "ChristDay" or "JesusDay"? Just make sure you get the date right this time.