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Thursday, February 22, 2007

Religion Never Hurt Nobody

So you think religion is benign? If someone wants to believe in some spirit in the sky, what's the harm? Why don't you just leave those God-fearing church-going people alone?

Well, here's a guy who is willing to ruin his marriage and make his wife's life a living hell because he thinks God wants it that way.

He already has three children. It's not like he hasn't been fruitful and multiplied. He had no problem using contraception in the past, but now his wife has given him an ultimatum:

So she has laid down the law: No sex until I get a vasectomy. Period.

She's already had three C-sections. She is in her forties. She has suffered depression. She is afraid of complications if she were to get pregnant again at her age. And most importantly, she just doesn't want to have another baby!

Perfectly reasonable request on her part if you ask me. But now that the pressure is on hubby to do something about it, he has suddenly had a change of heart. He believes that God is telling him (via the Bible) not to get a vasectomy because it is a sin.

OK, so you think this guy will eventually come to his senses and have the vasectomy and be happy with the three children he already has and start having a sexual relationship with his wife again, don't ya?

I made an appointment for a vasectomy. When I went in for my initial consult, the urologist asked me why I wanted to get a vasectomy. I said, "Because my wife wants me to." He told me that was the wrong reason.

I rescheduled my appointment for the actual surgery a couple of times for various reasons. At this point, I have no appointment.

So it has now been 15 months since we have had sex or even done much in the way of snuggling. It's not that we don't want sex. She has said several times that she didn't sign up for a sexless marriage. But even more than she wants sex, she doesn't want another pregnancy, another delivery, and resetting the clock for being a stay-at-home mom.

The lack of sex has been a wedge between us. The chemical thing that happens to your brain during sex to boost the emotional bond between a couple -- that's supposed to help sustain a couple in through the stresses of living together, but it's not available to us.

So what does a guy in this seemingly unresolvable dilemma do? I know you'll find this hard to believe, but he asks other Christians who also believe that a vasectomy would go against the "Word of God" for advice on how to save his marriage.

I'd like to reserve the comment box for this entry for those Christians who believe that contraception is a sin, to suggest solutions to my dilemma: How do I protect my wife from a dangerous pregnancy while avoiding the sin of abstinence and the sin of contraception?

Surprisingly enough, he's only heard from one such person so far and he didn't like the advice offered.

This guy doesn't want a solution to his problem because he already knows the answer: He believes that God won't let him have a vasectomy and no matter if this issue eventually destroys his marriage, he ain't gonna doit. What he's really looking for is a bunch of like-minded God-worshipers who feel the same way he does to reassure him that it's OK to figuratively screw his wife without actually having to.

My advice: Get a dildo for your wife and hope she doesn't leave you, and thank your God for the Internet, because your new lover is going to be that same computer screen you're currently blogging with.


Anonymous RickU said...

Nope. No computer screen lovin for him either. Poor soul can't even make sweet love to himself...remember? That's a sin too!

I'm afraid I don't have any sympathy for the sap. He's a fool.

Tue Mar 06, 04:24:00 AM 2007  
Anonymous Doug Purdie said...

If his wife wants so badly to avoid pregnancy, then she's probably motivated enough to get her tubes tied.

Thu Mar 08, 10:06:00 AM 2007  
Blogger Mary said...

I asked Him point blank and God definitely has no problem with this guy getting a vasectomy. His exact words were, "Oy vey, what is he waiting for? What is this guy, nuts? He should listen to his wife."

Your friend, Mary.


Thu Apr 19, 06:36:00 PM 2007  

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