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Monday, March 20, 2006

Holy War

Afghan Christian Could Get Death Sentence

An Afghan man is being prosecuted in a Kabul court and could be sentenced to death on a charge of converting from Islam to Christianity, a crime under this country's Islamic laws, a judge said Sunday.

"We are not against any particular religion in the world. But in Afghanistan, this sort of thing is against the law," the judge said. "It is an attack on Islam."

Now, why does the Afghan judge's "It is an attack on Islam" remark sound so familiar? I just can't put my finger on it. Maybe it has something to do with following:

Vision America's "The War on Christians" Conference (props to God is for Suckers!)

Some of the panels in this conference include:

- The ACLU And Radical Secularism: Driving God From The Public Square
- The Judiciary: Overruling God
- Jews Confront The War On Christians
- The Media: Megaphone For Anti-Faith Values

Many Christians throughout this country seem to be suffering from a disorder that, while it seems to be a recent phenomenon, has actually been around for just over 2000 years and which I like to refer to as "Christian Persecution Complex". There are a variety of things which can trigger this affliction, such as:

- Supporting equal rights for EVERYONE
- Defending EVERYONE's civil rights
- Creating a government based on a secular constitution
- Representing EVERYONE in the media

Being as I am such a kind and loving person (almost Christ-like, if I may be so bold), I just can't stand to see so many persecuted Christians suffering this unbearable attack on their beliefs. So, in order to help our Christian friends fight this epidemic, I suggest the following:

- Instead of supporting the ACLU while it defends Christian's civil rights, please vote for politicians who are willing to give the current Jesus in the White House unlimited power to spy on the godless Quakers.

- Rather than watching those evil liberal left-wing radical secular humanist cable news channels, please watch FOX News and the 700 Club instead. (Update: you can safely ignore this one since no one has ever been able to find an evil liberal left-wing radical secular humanist cable news channel)

- When playing the Chinese fortune cookie game where you add "in bed" to the end of the fortune, please add "with Jesus" instead (e.g. "Good things come in small packages in bed with Jesus").

- Get a copy of the constitution and replace every instance of "the United States of America" with "Our Lord Jesus Christ".

We the People of Our Lord Jesus Christ, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for Our Lord Jesus Christ.

- When approaching a river, stream or large body of water, ask yourself "What Would Jesus Do?" (If you don't know how to swim, then ask yourself "What Would Noah Do?" instead).

We may never find a cure for Christian Persecution Complex, but every little bit we can do to make our Christian brothers and sisters feel more comfortable and ease the pain of the relentless attack on their beliefs will help immensely. Won't you do your part today?


Blogger Delta said...

Very nice comparison =)

Wed Mar 29, 08:39:00 PM 2006  

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